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The
don'ts of Thai social behavior are less clearly
defined than those concerning the monarchy or
religion-especially in a city like Bangkok where
Western customs are better known and more widely
accepted. However, what is acceptable in Bangkok may
not be in the countryside where the old ways are
still strong. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Thais
DO NOT normally shake hands when they greet one
another, but instead press the palms together. In a
prayer-like gesture called a wai. Generally, a
younger person wais an elder, who returns it. Watch
how the Thais do it, and you will soon learn
It is
considered rude to point your foot at a person, so
try to avoid doing so when sitting opposite anyone,
and following the conception that the foot is a low
limb; DO NOT point your foot to show anything to
anyone, but use your finger instead.
Thais
regard the head as the highest part of the body both
literally and figuratively. As a result they DO NOT
approve of touching anyone on that part of the body;
even in a friendly gesture. Similarly, if you watch
Thais a social gathering, you will notice that young
people go to considerable lengths to keep their
heads lower than those of the elder ones, to avoid
giving the impression of "looking down" on them.
This is not always possible, of course, but it is
the effort that counts.
Public
displays of affection between men and women are
frowned upon. You may see some very Westernized
young Thai couples holding hands, but that is the
extent of the displaying of affection in this polite
society.
Losing
your temper, especially in public, will more than
likely get you nowhere. The Thais think such
displays denote poor manners, and you are more apt
to get what you want by keeping a cool head and
concealing your emotions.
DO NOT
be surprised if you are addressed by your first
name; for instance, Mr. Peter or Miss Ann instead of
by your surname. This is because Thais refer to one
another in this manner, usually with the title
"Khun" (Mr., Mrs., or Miss) in front. Follow the
customs of any country as far as possible, and you
will make more friends during your stay. The more
friends you make, the more you will want to return
to Thailand.
Thai
Family
Thai
family has a hierarchy with the parents at the top
of it. Children are educated to always honor their
parents and to thank them for the time and money
used for education. A lot of words are used in Thai
language to identify all the members of the family.
When speaking to an elder, Thai children always use
the word phi. When the difference of age is not
important, they only use first name. Younger must
respect elder, listen to their advices. Elder shall
protect younger.
In everyday society, when speaking to an unknown
person, Thai people use Thai word phi because they
don't know if this person is older or not. Even
between friends, there is a hierarchy. The younger
person will use phi word. The elder person will use
the first name.
Children and
Parents
Everything is a question of age and sex. Seniority
is a important part of Thai society. A younger
person shall respect the older person. When Thai
children write letters to their parents, they often
begin their letter with the words "Father, Mother
that I respect". Thai children used to live not far
from their parents. A big part of the wages should
be given to parents. Now things are changing. With
the industrialization of Thailand, a lot of young
Thai people go to Bangkok to take their chance. They
almost continue to send money to support their
parents. But parents, far away of children, have
less influence on them. Before parents will choose
the future mate. Now a lot of young Thai people
choose on their own. Children are the assurance for
the parents. Often Thai children continue to live in
their parent's house even if they are old enough to
live their own life. Especially for girls, they
should not leave their parent's home if they are not
married. If a girl is living alone, everybody will
gossip that she is a bad girl or a "mia noi" (
mistress ) of a wealthy man. In Thailand there is no
pension when workers retire. So the only support for
the old parents are their children. Thai people
don't like the westerner principle to send old
parents in special nursing-home. They say it is not
a nice way to thank parents for all the goodness
they did. All the family often live together.
Husband and Wife
Often
cultural shocks happen between Thai wife's and
farang husbands. One difficult thing is the need to
support a remote family in Thailand. Thai children
are educated to respect their parents and support
them. So money shall be send to them. On the
contrary, everyone will say that the children have a
stone heart ("chai dam"). Most Thai people don't
understand why a beautiful house is not built for
the mother-in-law. Most of them imagine that all the
foreigners are rich. When both of the married couple
are working, the woman wants to keep her money for
her own purpose and the money of the husband is used
for everyday expense. It is not the westerner point
of view where the two wages are used in the everyday
life.
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